And We Never Made it to Size 5 Diapers

Well this week has been busy busy. Let me try to recap. I wish I had written every day because I really do want to remember what I did with Amaryllis so I don't make the same mistakes with baby #2, but alas working, pregnancy, and toddlerhood has put my schedule in a pinch. Here it goes.

Age: Amaryllis is 21 months. She's pretty bright and understands simple commands. I can't really have a conversation with her yet, but if I say things enough times I think she understands what I mean. So far, she hasn't been destructive, defiant, or disobedient on purpose. I really want to have her potty trained before the authoritative struggle comes into age.

Reference: My friend posted about her "Potty Party" for her 2 1/2 year old. She mentioned the book Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day. I was interested, checked out the book from the library, and skimmed through it. It was informational I guess. I can't say I really learned anything new and I thought the book was pretty funny in that it seemed like a scam-of-a-book (about 20 pages of info, and the rest was detailed party "themes" and food/decor to go along with it. Honestly, what kid wants a Hollywood/Celebrity themed party?).

Anyways, I read through the basic concept which is: set aside a special day, have the child teach their babydoll how to pee, give the child some undies for baby (and for themselves), and then proceed throughout the day with praising and whatnot. Usually children really love to teach someone else, so the teaching babydoll concept works.

These past few months Amaryllis has continued to sit on the toliet when I put her there, but we have been so busy I was not consistent. It was becoming less and less.

Motivation: I KNEW WITH A BURNINGNESS in my heart that my sanity cannot handle double-diaper duty, and so I desperately wanted to have her fully trained before baby #2 in March. I also KNEW WITH EVERY ACHE in my body that I'm getting fatter/lazier by the week and I doubted if I would have the inner strength to go through with potty training the longer I waited. I looked at my schedule and had no work meetings and no traveling for 2 wks. Now or never.

But I was scared. Every mom makes such a big deal about it. Is it all just talk?

Then Monday, Amaryllis randomly put Duke (her dog) on the toilet. This was it! I couldn't deny it was a sign. I had a new doll that I was saving for the right (desperate?) time this fall--all stored away in the closet. So I threw together a last-minute potty party from that moment on. It was a fun day. It was a long day. But not horrible like everyone says. I had to do an attitude adjustment, but here is how it went this week:

Day 1: In the morning, Amaryllis taught BabyDoll (we have since named her Blossom) how to sit on the toliet and pee. I had a little teaspoon of water I hid in my hand so that Blossom would actually look/sound like she's peeing. It really helped because the noise of water hitting the toliet just rocked AV's world. We did this a lot all morning. AV loved it. We went through all the steps of taking off the diaper, putting her on the toliet, wiping, washing, flushing. I spent 1-on-1 time with her all morning which I've never done. It was exhausting--she is such a mover. But it was really fun to do activities with her. I had to get creative, but we found lots to do.

Introducing Undies & Dora Pullups: After doing the toliet with Blossom for awhile, I brought out a package of new undies and made a big deal about them. Wow, Blossom got undies! And Amaryllis got undies too! No more diapers. We threw the diapers in the trash in a very dramatic ceremony. Please note that all morning there was much praising and repeating and discussion about potty, wet vs dry, how we want to stay dry, etc. This was the most annoying part to me b/c I felt like I said the same thing over and over but AV really got it and kept saying "dry" and patting herself.

From that moment on, I swore I would never put diapers on her (except at night. We call them special night undies and she buys it). I know the book says you will send mixed signals if you put diapers on them again, but she doesn't notice the night diapers and so we don't talk about it.

She still takes a 3-4 hr nap and I'm not worrying about nightwetting yet. She wokeup and said "oh no, Dora wet" so I felt like our morning was a success---she knew wet vs dry.

That afternoon it was her turn to sit on the potty. This was a bit of a problem. I will have to think of how to fix this for baby #2. All AV wanted to do was put Blossom on the toilet and she refused to sit on it! For the past 7 months AV has been fine on the toilet and never thrown a fit until today. If we used a different toilet, she was fine. But the downstairs toilet was Blossoms and AV would not sit on it. Ugh.

Yes, AV had 2 small accidents that day (Blossom had accidents too). They weren't bad at all like I envisioned. The training undies are quite absorbent yet still give the toddler a wet feeling that she did not like. She did NOT go pee or poo on the toilet for the next 2 days. She wasn't refusing, she just sat there and tried. I did notice these first 2 days she held it all morning and peed during nap. Then held it most afternoon and peed during bath. Oh well. I tried to not get discouraged by reminding myself that half the battle is for them to learn how to hold it which she definitely was learning. She liked walking around saying she was dry.

Note About Staying Home: We stayed home all that first day. I hate staying home and this was the part I had always dreaded about potty training. I heard all these horrible tales about how you have to lock yourself in your home for like a week and just sit with your toddler on the toilet. It was NOT like that ladies! We had activities to do, Owen came over and played, we went on walks outside. It was fine. Don't let this bad rumor scare you off.

Day 3 & 4: We continued on with the undies during playtime and pullups during nap. At first I was setting the timer for every 15 min and she'd run to the toilet when it went beep. But then I realized AV really only needs to go once every 1-2 hrs, so I quit with the timer on day 4. We had a few small successes (just a few drops in the toilet...how to get her to let it all out?) and a few accidents.

Poo: She finally went poo after holding it for 2 days. She went in her undies while saying 'uh oh' and I rushed her to the toilet. It was tricky, but we got her out of the undies, plopped it in the toilet, and had a discussion about it. Then we had to learn how to wipe her bum. This was hard--I should have taught her what "bend over" means first!

Going Out: I think I mentioned that one of our toilets is this portable toilet seat (Potette Plus 2-in-1). I'm super glad I went with this one. It has been SO convenient! It folds up nicely and I gave AV a cute new bag to carry it in. She was thrilled to run errands with her very own bag. I was nervous taking her out at first and decided she should wear undies and not pullups. I didn't want pullups to become a crutch, and new I wouldn't be as pro-active if I knew she was wearing pullups. Let's face it...pullups are pretty much diapers in my mind. I wanted to force myself to force her to get used to public bathrooms.

Let me just say she does WAY BETTER in public than at home! I don't get it. All during errands we talk about being dry and then every hour I make sure to be near a restroom. She loves getting her potty out, unfolding it, and looking to see where the toilet paper is in that certain restroom. Public peeing is the first time I have seen her let it all out. Like she goes a little, I say "more", she goes more, and I keep encouraging her, and you can watch her think and make the mental connection, then wooooosh. Niagara Falls. It has been quite exciting. Yes we've had maybe 2 accidents in public (at the park when she gets excited) but it is usually just a little bit and then we rush to the potty.

Her being able to pee in public gave me such confidence and while going out is still scary, I know she can do it. If I had to do it over again, I would do the same thing and force her to be comfortable peeing in public from day 1. I try really hard to not use pull-ups because even though we call them undies, I think she recognizes the feel of them and is more prone to accidents.

Note About Public Peeing: She has to take off her pants. Which means shoes must come off. It's annoying, but it's the only way she can be comfy. We need to work on this. I try to be in places with nice restrooms.

Signals: Sometimes she runs to the toilet. Sometimes she tells me. Sometimes she doesn't and just looks at me and I know. In public, sometimes she'll say "pe pe or potty" but it is hard for me to know what she is saying b/c I don't hear her version of these words often.

Things to Remember: The bribery/treat thing has become out of control. She is obsessed with treats and it is getting worse. She's starting to throw fits for them! I wish I hadn't started with treats and instead done a sticker chart. But there's nothing I can do at this point.

What I'm Feeling: Moms make such a big deal about potty training. It isn't that big of deal except that it is tiring. But it would be tiring whether you do it while they are young or old, so why not get it over with while they are young? I think the exhausting part is having to be so happy/chipper all the time and always talking about the same thing over and over again. I thought cleaning up pee would be the annoying part, but for us that wasn't too bad. The annoying part was ME...I had to be proactive and give myself pep-talks and get off my lazy butt.

My Tips: Look at your calendar before starting potty training. Buy lots of undies (laundry is a drag). Go with sticker charts over treats. Continually talk and be verbal about all things toilet related. And in public, just start from day 1 and work it into your routine.

Future: I realize she isn't totally potty trained because we haven't gone a full day without an accident, but going diaper-less is a huge step. I have to remind myself to make the conscious time to talk about wet/dry, and to tear myself away from my things and take her to the toilet. I will need to look into night wetting, but at this point where she still sleeps 14 hrs at night and 4 hrs during the day, I can't expect her to hold it.

Car Trips: I don't know what we'll do next weekend driving to the beach. I wonder if she will hold it. Or should I do a pull-up? Maybe we'll stop at McDs and use the potty? I'll think about it.

Regression: They say every child goes through at least 1 or 2 regressions. I'm mentally preparing myself now, so that I don't get discouraged. I'll just have to tough it out.

Here's to day #6 with no diapers!